Dogwalk

Sometimes, think… don’t wait for a special occasion to shoot something. Just shoot it. How stupid simple it ever may be. Actually, don’t think very much at all. Don’t care and see what happens. Just throw away the lens at something and click.

Don’t bother what camera you use. Use the one you have right here right now, which almost always is your smartphone. The soul of a photography is far more interesting, exciting and important than fabulous quality and fantastic views.

This is what I do, this is what I see a couple of times everyday – walking our dogs, and anytime in between. It’s so everyday common insignificant that I wanted to make some photos of it (ok, this particular moment occurred some weeks ago).

It’s easy to go blind and forget the beauty that actually live in those insignificant moments. Take care of them. They are more important than you may think in making life more interesting than you may think. Penetrate and go beyond what you take for granted.

This is my way to achieve more mindfulness in life. Even without making photos. But you need to remind yourself constantly about it to not forget it.

the Art of Seeing

Debriefing, free breathing the art of reflections, and the holy ghost…

There are physical reflections, and there are mental reflections.

When I make photography, I do it because I feel somewhat of an attraction to the scene I want to catch, at least trying to. Sometimes it’s a more subconscious response of instinct or a spontaneous idea, a vague intuitive feeling of something worth just shooting.

Back home when I post process my photos. I do it again.

But now my catch is concealed forever as it went. I can’t change the content in the scene. I can’t remake the action.

But what I can do is changing the mood. And this can change the scene radically in many different emotional directions. I’m seldom satisfied with just “cleaning up the photos” to technically look better.

Back home my emotional connections rarely are the same as when I made the shots. I see everything slightly differently, sometimes very different, sometimes I don’t find what I thought I saw, sometimes I discover things I didn’t saw. Time affects your mood and impressions.

I’m post processing my mind.

I like to cover my photos with a layer of my personal mood. I like to bend the appearance of the original reality. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

I like to blend the nature of both documenting the ordinary reality with the artistic freedom to strengthen the appearance in one or another direction.

I’m not a fan of creating photos with a consistent identity. Or, maybe I should say; I get bored very quickly in predictable squares.

My mind is a creative mess of discovery joy. And the right mood is very important in this process to keep my motivation happy. I have always been attracted to possible what if’s and can’t resist trying new ideas and different approaches.

For me, what I feel is far more important than what I see.

 

 

 

 

 

sometimes I wonder, Why!

Sometimes I wonder, Why!  ?

Then I think, Why!  ?

On my mind. Words moving around like foam on waves in the sea made of thoughts.

Thinking too much makes you feel too much. It’s easy to begin to disbelieve in yourself. The more you think about it, the less you see the point of anything at the end. Everything you touch dies.

A sense of context.

I often find myself wondering. Questioning the meaning of what I do. I try to ignore the purpose of my doubts. Demons, watch me do it anyway.

Since I never seem to get any useful answers anyway from those doubts I keep on doing what I need to do what I want. Even if the meaning of it all is hidden at the end of the universe. Out of reach in my ordinary lifetime.

I don’t need, I want.

I need to sleep, but I would prefer to do it when I want. I need to wake up…

I need to cope with the rest of the world to serve my possibilities to do what I want. But I can’t control it. Everybody wants. So control yourself.

Live together, die alone.

I keep on shooting, post processing, share them. On Insta, Tumblr, my blog. Write loads and post my shit on this blog. Not many cares, some likes and then passing by and disappears into the unknown shrubbery of the past.

Instant pleasure of creativity. I want more, but don’t know why. I just do it. Because it’s satisfying to create. That’s all I need. As long as I want.

And then? Who knows. That’s inspiring enough – the unknown life of the past in the present. Creating a story and the history of your life. Documenting the creation of a memory.

Catching moments of life as it occurred in your mind. Sometimes changing during the post process. Discovering new things, traveling back in time with a slightly different mindset. Changing the scene. The past suddenly grows into new depths and heights. Crossbreeds now and then.

In every photo every made, you not only caught what you saw. You also made an image of your own mind and mood. In both directions.

And words. There are so many things inside your thoughts. Use them, play with them, decipher them. Even if they seem to make no sense, or mean anything of significant importance. Just do it. Open the hatch in your pond.

Forward in any direction. Where are we now

Photography is art. Words are art. We make art of life. Life is an artwork. Art is life.

Don’t do what you love. Love what you do. And don’t doubt about that.

 

Why is the wrong ?

 

Mall Meditation / tw0

The mall meditation continues. In a way, it’s actually part three. The first began outside the mall, where my original plan was supposed to happen.

At shopping centers, I definitely feel uncomfortable in making photos of people. It’s a very unnatural place for street style photography. In general, people seem to react more skeptical when they suspect that you are making photos. Probably more my feelings than theirs. My problem.

Except when you find natural open spots and look like you just want to catch a nice view or an interesting object that happens to be there.

This was definitely not one of the greatest moments in the history of street photography. But I like what I got in its own way, as I usually do. No matter how vanishing small of insignificant importance. Every little moment is a piece of life as it occurred once in a lifetime in our spacetime with a unique little story hidden inside.

I’m not trying to defend my work. I just say what I think and what I believe strengthens your life with less is one of more and the rest of it all.

How did my mall meditation work? Beyond my expectations actually, in a strange odd way. The mall was packed with humans, impossible to ignore. Still, I found myself surprisingly calm inside. Like diving in a coral reef full of life.

I can’t remind me that I have ever managed to withstand such a pressure of impressions for so long time without feeling drained and exhausted. Tired on my way back home, of course, always (my circadian pattern is very curvy). But not that crazy tired as I usually become.

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This is part three of two, part one, the third, is an outsider…

Hit the tag Kungsbacka and you’ll find the others

Mall Meditation / 0ne

I was supposed to bring my time walking around with my camera, outdoors in the rain in Kungsbacka. While my wife and daughter were doing their thing at the big city mall called “Kungsmässan” – shopping.

But after some hour walking in empty circles, I changed my plan and walked back to where I came from and joined my family.

So, it’s here they are all the lost people of Kungsbacka.

Rethink my mission, mold my head and switch connections. How about grip the mission impossible trying to meditate in a state of confusion.

No plan but intuitively snapping shots more or less in a mode of subliminal reactions. Mostly resulting in crap, but always exciting, and fun. You never know, or at least less than usually what you get. Some shots always get a bit fucked up and away. No tears – this is what it is – just shoot it.

I met some friends from work. That was fun, jumping in from nowhere all of a sudden straight in front of them with my camera. I would like to have the guts and dare to do the same thing with strangers. Oh my, what moments wouldn’t I been able to create. And oh my what reactions I would have to stand up for and defend. Or just walk away smooth and fast like a thief.

I think you have to be a little bit rude and careless by nature to feel comfortable in doing this. I’m not, and probably never will. I have hard times just feeling comfortable being seen openly at any time. My self-esteem varies a lot from time to time. Some days it’s just so easy, and the next day I feel annoying disturbed by my uncomfortable mood.

But I rather avoid thinking too much about this issue and just cope with the circumstances as they are for the moment.

 

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This is a part of another part besides being part one of two of an ordinary day

Hit the tag Kungsbacka and you’ll find the other one, and two

 

Onmywayhome

It’s happening again. And will so do from time to time. My life is not always linear. Not my mind anyway.

I have always had slight issues with my memory. I usually remember everything, but seldom when or in which order it occurred.

I feel perfectly comfortable with this. It makes life a little more intuitive and exciting.

Time in any direction on its way to the same goal. Cause you can impossible avoid the black star in the center of it all – the gravity of the future everybody is heading.

For no reason but saying…

And this is

A regular reflection through my two black holes that consumes the light. After a long hard late evening shift at work. When my mind is released and my soul catches the flight.

It’s quite fun just snapping shots from the bike.

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a different view

One last trip with the family to the end of days. Tomorrow working class hero life begins again.

This was a wonderful nice moody day. Cloudy but warm and almost windless. Lovely relaxing atmosphere, far, far away from the streets.

That was needed. I have almost forgotten how energizing it can be to flow my mind in the nature. Don’t ask me why, otherwise I should have known why and done it more before.

Blinded by the streets I suppose.

This is a place called “Hanhals holme” (Hanhals islet), located by the sea in the city of Kungsbacka. Just a couple of miles south away from Gothenburg.

Once upon a time, in the Middle Ages, a castle once stood here named Hunehals castle. Today, there’s not even ruins left to find, only traces and findings that reveal its physical history.

The “ruin” itself is not much to see. But knowing about it feels nice. It’s more the place and itself as it is that makes it a nice place to be. Especially all the sheep that you share space with when walking around here. You find them in small groups little everywhere.

It might not seem like that when looking back at my photography since this blog was born. But I actually love being in the mother natures green room, or fifty shades of naked dull, as it looks more like during the dark half of the year.  Not just as much as I used to. Occasionally still do, but almost never make any photos of it.

Nature photography actually used to dominate my photography once upon a time. Then I suddenly more or less got fed up totally of it. Probably because I got stuck in the search of serious perfection.

Thanks to iPhone, Instagram and later on, the curiosity of the myth of street photography, I found a newborn relationship between photography and my mind. I see and feel many things very differently now. So this might be a new beginning of my approach and perspectives towards my photographic relation to nature.

Sea and water usually always is something I’m drawn to make photos of from time to time. And like to just stare at. And clouds, I love clouds. I’m an addicted cloud gazer. Clouds make my mind flow free and probably the best practicing of mindfulness meditation I know.

But me making close ups of flowers… that’s extremely rare. And I enjoyed it with something that almost felt like passion at the moment. So this was a really unique happening that occurred today.

More missing links found today, it seems.

 

 

Last supper

… before my time out of control is forced back into control. This was it, the grand vacation of the year. Four weeks spent in freedom with When, Where, How, Who, What and Why, almost by myself.

Very simple, nothing big, but very nice in general. Nothing will ever be any better than you make it. So you better make it.

I’ve seen more of my nearby surroundings during this time than I have done for years together. Thanks to my camera, my cycle, my shoes, and of course some bus and tramp rides.

A tip worth trying if you feel stuck in life – buy a camera and start document life through the lens. Whatever, just shoot it.

This probably maybe last world tour trip of my vacation went on to quite a long ride in scrambled directions. At least 40km by wheels and another 10 by foot. But I apparently I enjoyed the travel more than making photos of it.

That’s a good sign. I have become a little bit too addicted to making photos from time to time, and some more in between. I even dream about photography at nights. I don’t think that’s a good sign.

But it felt scary when I got back home and started to wonder after some hours if I shouldn’t get out for a little ride again, just a short one. I didn’t.

Somehow I need to begin focusing on life without the need of making photography every minute. Otherwise, I will put me in risk of creating myself an imaginary jail. Stuck in a place that only makes you suffer. You can never run away from now without getting bruises in your heart and mind.
You need to take good care of now. Now is where you live.

When thinking about it. Freedom is nothing… and as soon as you need or want something, you are no longer free. And as nothing is an impossible condition for life, you will never be free. Until you become nothing.

Freedom is nothing but an imaginary condition. So let us create your freedom. What other condition is better. Yeah! Now I’m flipping out here.

Now I kinda lost my thread…

So let’s talk about the weather. That always works when there’s nothing else to talk about. It has been mostly really good actually (dead end).

For this special last supper final, I got into my rough post processing mood. I have been quite neat to my photos lately, mostly. And I really like trying to replicate that analog film touch. As good as I can and want it to look like. Probably because I’m grown up with cameras in the analog era. Some kind of nostalgic issue.

I love the digital evolution. Definitely, but. As I have said before. Digital photos tend to feel a little bit too technical perfect sometimes. That disturbs my sense of life. Flaws make photos feel more perfect, emotionally. And that means more to me.

I have and will probably never be consistent in my style. Sometimes I’m into low contrast, sometimes hard, sometimes slightly faded and desaturated, sometimes the opposite, sometimes B/W and so on. I change, that’s it. I refuse to nail my style to create some kind of personal identity.

Well, that’s my style and identity. So I think I have nailed it, shit!

See you soon again. But probably not so often as it has been last month. Love you all, whoever you are.

Found a missing link today

Much better. Even if I really didn’t make that much photography as I thought. I fell upon an even better mood, actually.

The feeling of here and now. So I wasn’t thinking that much about making photos all the time. It made me feel more free and satisfied. I enjoyed life more than getting photos of it.

It’s easy to forget when your craving addiction for photography hits you.

Better for better photos, maybe not, but definitely more valuable utilization of your time, according to me. Better for your mind. More mindfulness. And in a crowded town full of action everywhere this mindset suits me better in the long term.

Don’t worry, be happy. You can’t be everywhere all the time anyway. You will miss things, but you will find something else probably worth far more.

In these days an extraordinary huge event that occurs every year is going on in Gothenburg – Gothia Cup. The largest and most international youth soccer tournament in the world is going on. Every year more than 1700 teams from 80 nations participate. It all began 1975 and keeps on growing every year.

The big recreational square of Heden in the middle of Gothenburg is one of the highlight spots of this event. Beyond that, practically every soccer ground in Gothenburg and neighboring cities are occupied during this event.

Unfortunately, I’m not a huge fan of soccer. So for me this is just a fun happening, but not more than that. But I actually enjoyed the atmosphere of being here, and where I spent most of my time this day.

When I finally left for a walk to other sceneries, before heading home, my mood was in perfect condition and I enjoyed every second. Then I left when I still felt as best.

I could have made a lot of more photography, but I wasn’t prior it at all. So I really didn’t get that many shots today. But I’m definitely satisfied good enough. Especially with the mood of the day.

Somewhere else – the hip factor

Today I give you two posts. Just a mishap – the former post got stuck and forgotten in draft mode. But that’s just good because of they kind of stick together.

Feels good to be back from the dead. Almost there, just some more breaths then I hope to be alive again.

Another brutal 24-hour migraine marathon done. And another 24 drowsy hours to recover. I can still hear the ghosts mourning in the depths of my head.

Yesterday was better until I got caught. Solar energy and thousands of people, mostly tourists I think. Yes, I’m in the crowded people mood again. Sort of. Still get tired all too quickly in crowds and easily slowly lose my concentration. I’m actually not surprised why I finally got my headache. I refused the warning and forced myself to be there.

But I started calmly behind the stage, watching the world from a more distant view. Wondering, What today?

It mostly became a lot of “hip shots”, again. Well actually “gut shots” – my neck strap isn’t that long. So it hangs in about gut height. And that’s good. They say shooting from your gut is good, trust your gut feeling. I guess I may not understand what they mean. What’s so good about that, I don’t understand…

I’m joking, hope you understood that 😉

One reason is that I have lost some of my former self-esteem. I’m back in that slightly uncomfortable mood again. In street photography, particularly at close range, it’s of utter importance to be consistent and keep on challenging yourself if you want to preserve and evolve your skills.

It’s actually not that bad, but not that good either. I have been a bit careless with my street photography achievements when it comes to the feeling of facing people in the streets.

At the same time, besides this little loss, I think that shooting from the hip, or from any angle in blindness, is a good skill to know. And I need to practice some more because I really suck at it. You never know when there will come a moment when it fits better. So this is a skill worth knowing how to handle.

Other nice things about hip shot shooting are that you definitely never hesitate and will catch many interesting candid snapshot moments.

But I better put this hip mode on the shelf for a while. At least not doing it so often as I have done lately. It’s not good for me.

Bad self-esteem is not a good reason to do hip photography. It can actually strengthen that uncomfortable feeling instead. If you never try to break free and challenge yourself you may get stuck in that stealthy hip mode. But I won’t say it’s wrong either. If you like it, I say go with it.

There are moments when one way is better than the other. In time you will find out when which suits best. But I would say mainly facing the world openly is the best way in the long term if you want to evolve both yourself and your photography.

The big problem, for me, is when I do too much stealth photography too often, I apparently become lazy in my mindset and approach. And I have done it too much, too often lately. First it was fun, then it felt nice and comfortable not bother being spotted, then I got zombified.

Today I woke up during this hip mode with a feeling of not being there. I didn’t feel any passion, more like an insensible shadow with a gadget that says click. It kind of erased the connection between me the camera and the world. I could as well put an action camera on me and just walk on, then pick some moments back home.

I usually never say “taking photos”, I prefer “making photos”. For me, it’s a big difference. I don’t take photos, I make photos. But this actually felt like taking photos, randomly collecting pictures in the streets.

I got some nice shots anyhow anyway. But I need more of the passion of being here and now as a photographer when I make my photos.

It’s for sure a nice way to hide your intentions, or when circumstances make it a better choice. But be aware, only in small doses. It’s definitely not a good way to evolve your photography skills, at least not the heart and soul of photography.

Learn how to use it, not abuse it.

I think a more proper and creative way of exploring your intentions is to learn to react more spontaneous, intuitive and faster. And learn how to aim and shoot without looking when you want to catch the scene from a different angle – without the need of sneaking. Or just use your body if you want to get low.

My Fuji X100T has a fixed LCD screen so I’m not spoiled with this tilting feature many cameras usually have.

Tomorrow… today. This is not an instant blog of the day. I’m too slow. Today I will hit the streets again and try to find myself a better suited mindset and approach. And try to not get any migraine.