Substation

We don’t have subways in Gothenburg. But we have a substation.

I have been there once before, without a reason. Now I have been there twice, without a reason.

That was a lie. This time I had photography as a reason.

It was like a forgotten abandoned place. Not even advertising on the walls. Did I miss something on my way down?

Not a soul, then some.

For a moment, then back to empty mosaic space.

I think I want to visit this place again. Now I know more about its pulsating nature between awakening and sleep.

 

the Art of Seeing

Debriefing, free breathing the art of reflections, and the holy ghost…

There are physical reflections, and there are mental reflections.

When I make photography, I do it because I feel somewhat of an attraction to the scene I want to catch, at least trying to. Sometimes it’s a more subconscious response of instinct or a spontaneous idea, a vague intuitive feeling of something worth just shooting.

Back home when I post process my photos. I do it again.

But now my catch is concealed forever as it went. I can’t change the content in the scene. I can’t remake the action.

But what I can do is changing the mood. And this can change the scene radically in many different emotional directions. I’m seldom satisfied with just “cleaning up the photos” to technically look better.

Back home my emotional connections rarely are the same as when I made the shots. I see everything slightly differently, sometimes very different, sometimes I don’t find what I thought I saw, sometimes I discover things I didn’t saw. Time affects your mood and impressions.

I’m post processing my mind.

I like to cover my photos with a layer of my personal mood. I like to bend the appearance of the original reality. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

I like to blend the nature of both documenting the ordinary reality with the artistic freedom to strengthen the appearance in one or another direction.

I’m not a fan of creating photos with a consistent identity. Or, maybe I should say; I get bored very quickly in predictable squares.

My mind is a creative mess of discovery joy. And the right mood is very important in this process to keep my motivation happy. I have always been attracted to possible what if’s and can’t resist trying new ideas and different approaches.

For me, what I feel is far more important than what I see.

 

 

 

 

 

sometimes I wonder, Why!

Sometimes I wonder, Why!  ?

Then I think, Why!  ?

On my mind. Words moving around like foam on waves in the sea made of thoughts.

Thinking too much makes you feel too much. It’s easy to begin to disbelieve in yourself. The more you think about it, the less you see the point of anything at the end. Everything you touch dies.

A sense of context.

I often find myself wondering. Questioning the meaning of what I do. I try to ignore the purpose of my doubts. Demons, watch me do it anyway.

Since I never seem to get any useful answers anyway from those doubts I keep on doing what I need to do what I want. Even if the meaning of it all is hidden at the end of the universe. Out of reach in my ordinary lifetime.

I don’t need, I want.

I need to sleep, but I would prefer to do it when I want. I need to wake up…

I need to cope with the rest of the world to serve my possibilities to do what I want. But I can’t control it. Everybody wants. So control yourself.

Live together, die alone.

I keep on shooting, post processing, share them. On Insta, Tumblr, my blog. Write loads and post my shit on this blog. Not many cares, some likes and then passing by and disappears into the unknown shrubbery of the past.

Instant pleasure of creativity. I want more, but don’t know why. I just do it. Because it’s satisfying to create. That’s all I need. As long as I want.

And then? Who knows. That’s inspiring enough – the unknown life of the past in the present. Creating a story and the history of your life. Documenting the creation of a memory.

Catching moments of life as it occurred in your mind. Sometimes changing during the post process. Discovering new things, traveling back in time with a slightly different mindset. Changing the scene. The past suddenly grows into new depths and heights. Crossbreeds now and then.

In every photo every made, you not only caught what you saw. You also made an image of your own mind and mood. In both directions.

And words. There are so many things inside your thoughts. Use them, play with them, decipher them. Even if they seem to make no sense, or mean anything of significant importance. Just do it. Open the hatch in your pond.

Forward in any direction. Where are we now

Photography is art. Words are art. We make art of life. Life is an artwork. Art is life.

Don’t do what you love. Love what you do. And don’t doubt about that.

 

Why is the wrong ?

 

Good Evening Mölndal

I should do it more often, but for some unknown reason, I haven’t. Shoot in the dark.

This is little big Mölndal in the late evening.

Prepare for a post loaded with shots.

I say big little city because Mölndal is actually a mid big city measured in Swedish measurement (almost 65.000 inhabitants). But compared to Gothenburg next door it’s small and makes Mölndal even smaller than it actually is. Because everybody prefers to go and be where you find most of your needs where the big things are and happen.

So the circumstances practically make Mölndal a suburb of Gothenburg.

And still, same as it ever was. Not very much happens here after dark. Some more life than during the cold and darker half of the year, but not very much. Things may change some when the new city center is finished.

The street life here mostly consists of people on their way passing through back home or to Gothenburg. So where the street life is, is where the trams and buses come and go. The further away you go (and that’s not far away) the less you see of human activity.

You’ll find some few others at the restaurants and some others at the store buying candy, soda, toothpaste, cigarettes and a banana. Some few more at the 24/seven gym. And if you peep through the windows of the Scandic hotel you may see some tourists.

Besides that, some few sporadic appearance of humans.

Not very entertaining. But soothing, in its own strange way. You won’t get stressed out of impressions anyway, rather the opposite. Especially if you do street photography. You are easily spotted as the strange man walking in circles with a camera.

I actually made most of my photography this evening doing the hip shot thing. Even if I really don’t like it very much I felt more comfortable doing it. I didn’t know what to expect (mostly from myself and what I wanted) and saw this visit mostly as a recon for future activity. Including re-learning and experiment with my camera settings.

Finding out things and what to expect.

I love to dwell in the dark. I used to love making photography in the dark. Back then it was more still life/street scape style with a tripod and long exposures.

Nowadays I don’t like tripods. I try to avoid needing one. I want to be light. Actually, I don’t even own a tripod, beside a little cheap bendable one primarily made for smartphones (but it’s usable with small cameras). I have it in my bag, but honestly, I don’t know why. I haven’t used it since I put it there.

When I was in my teens I was a night creature and usually made most of my photography at night. Back then I was b/w and analog, mostly. Carrying around a bunch of gear, and a tripod.

I think it’s time to revive more nightlight into my photography. Without a tripod. I want to evolve my street and candid passion into the darker times. Meaning shaky, blurry, out of focus flaws is not an issue, rather a potential moody touch. But of course, a razor sharp shot is always welcome.

I love technical bad but good photos…

Life is just same, same but different when the sun falls down. I like the difference. Very strange that I have made so few night shots. Actually very strange indeed. Probably caused by comfort and laziness of restarting the engine.

But probably mostly because my awareness of the dangerous effect late evenings into the night have on me – My need for sleep die hard minutes to midnight when I’m in a creative mode. Late nights are a creative mania trigger.

I don’t know where this sudden awakening of night photography comes from. I just feel a need for it and want more. Probably some kind of subconscious reaction knowing that the time of daylight is getting shorter and intuitively preparing for new influences.

Shaking old photographic memories alive.

It’s kind of learning to cope with the changes of time to find the advantages that fit best for the moment.

 

 

 

Good Morning Mölndal

What if waking up unnecessarily early on a day off when you don’t need to wake up early.

And can’t turn around and fall back to sleep.

You may get the sudden idea of going out and make some photography. Just like that, and do.

So I left my bed, took my bike and went to Mölndals Bro, the bridge where everyone on their way somewhere passing through to the next place. Or other ways of use.

I was dwelling back and forth in slow pleasure with my camera for about an hour. Just watching, observing life in its simplicity. Then back home, ate and reclaimed the sleep.

 

Good morning Mölndal! What a wonderful beginning of a day.

 

 

 

Mall Meditation / tw0

The mall meditation continues. In a way, it’s actually part three. The first began outside the mall, where my original plan was supposed to happen.

At shopping centers, I definitely feel uncomfortable in making photos of people. It’s a very unnatural place for street style photography. In general, people seem to react more skeptical when they suspect that you are making photos. Probably more my feelings than theirs. My problem.

Except when you find natural open spots and look like you just want to catch a nice view or an interesting object that happens to be there.

This was definitely not one of the greatest moments in the history of street photography. But I like what I got in its own way, as I usually do. No matter how vanishing small of insignificant importance. Every little moment is a piece of life as it occurred once in a lifetime in our spacetime with a unique little story hidden inside.

I’m not trying to defend my work. I just say what I think and what I believe strengthens your life with less is one of more and the rest of it all.

How did my mall meditation work? Beyond my expectations actually, in a strange odd way. The mall was packed with humans, impossible to ignore. Still, I found myself surprisingly calm inside. Like diving in a coral reef full of life.

I can’t remind me that I have ever managed to withstand such a pressure of impressions for so long time without feeling drained and exhausted. Tired on my way back home, of course, always (my circadian pattern is very curvy). But not that crazy tired as I usually become.

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This is part three of two, part one, the third, is an outsider…

Hit the tag Kungsbacka and you’ll find the others

Mall Meditation / 0ne

I was supposed to bring my time walking around with my camera, outdoors in the rain in Kungsbacka. While my wife and daughter were doing their thing at the big city mall called “Kungsmässan” – shopping.

But after some hour walking in empty circles, I changed my plan and walked back to where I came from and joined my family.

So, it’s here they are all the lost people of Kungsbacka.

Rethink my mission, mold my head and switch connections. How about grip the mission impossible trying to meditate in a state of confusion.

No plan but intuitively snapping shots more or less in a mode of subliminal reactions. Mostly resulting in crap, but always exciting, and fun. You never know, or at least less than usually what you get. Some shots always get a bit fucked up and away. No tears – this is what it is – just shoot it.

I met some friends from work. That was fun, jumping in from nowhere all of a sudden straight in front of them with my camera. I would like to have the guts and dare to do the same thing with strangers. Oh my, what moments wouldn’t I been able to create. And oh my what reactions I would have to stand up for and defend. Or just walk away smooth and fast like a thief.

I think you have to be a little bit rude and careless by nature to feel comfortable in doing this. I’m not, and probably never will. I have hard times just feeling comfortable being seen openly at any time. My self-esteem varies a lot from time to time. Some days it’s just so easy, and the next day I feel annoying disturbed by my uncomfortable mood.

But I rather avoid thinking too much about this issue and just cope with the circumstances as they are for the moment.

 

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This is a part of another part besides being part one of two of an ordinary day

Hit the tag Kungsbacka and you’ll find the other one, and two

 

When it rains in Kungsbacka

Is it possible to meditate while walking around in a mall? You will get an idea about how it went in my next post.

I said “see ya” to my wife and daughter who went inside the big mall, while I headed to the small but nice little city center of Kungsbacka in the rain.

With my ridiculous beloved pink and white dotted umbrella.

 

This was kind of dead space. Seems that the habitats of this town don’t like rain very much. Ok, I actually like calmer and laid back places in general, but this was little too much of it.

Bad choice of day apparently. Those few I saw was either inside one of the very many cafes and restaurants or at the food store. I just wonder where they came from or where they went when done.

The citizens of Kungsbacka must love to get out to eat and drink. For such a small town you find a surprising amount of restaurants in every corner, side by side. I wonder if they use their kitchens.

So you probably have to eat to meet people here. At least when it rains.

The rain was moody anyway. And I actually got some nice observations during my short and simple walk about. Most of those insignificant everyday things and moments I see around me but most people never think that much about.

Fortunately, I happen to love those almost invisible insignificant moments in life. And I love making candid photographs of it. Some, many… would probably say boring about my point of view. Well. Life isn’t a Hollywood movie.

And when they find out it isn’t. They consume.

 

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This is a part of part one and two of an ordinary day

Hit the tag Kungsbacka and you’ll find the others

Last supper

… before my time out of control is forced back into control. This was it, the grand vacation of the year. Four weeks spent in freedom with When, Where, How, Who, What and Why, almost by myself.

Very simple, nothing big, but very nice in general. Nothing will ever be any better than you make it. So you better make it.

I’ve seen more of my nearby surroundings during this time than I have done for years together. Thanks to my camera, my cycle, my shoes, and of course some bus and tramp rides.

A tip worth trying if you feel stuck in life – buy a camera and start document life through the lens. Whatever, just shoot it.

This probably maybe last world tour trip of my vacation went on to quite a long ride in scrambled directions. At least 40km by wheels and another 10 by foot. But I apparently I enjoyed the travel more than making photos of it.

That’s a good sign. I have become a little bit too addicted to making photos from time to time, and some more in between. I even dream about photography at nights. I don’t think that’s a good sign.

But it felt scary when I got back home and started to wonder after some hours if I shouldn’t get out for a little ride again, just a short one. I didn’t.

Somehow I need to begin focusing on life without the need of making photography every minute. Otherwise, I will put me in risk of creating myself an imaginary jail. Stuck in a place that only makes you suffer. You can never run away from now without getting bruises in your heart and mind.
You need to take good care of now. Now is where you live.

When thinking about it. Freedom is nothing… and as soon as you need or want something, you are no longer free. And as nothing is an impossible condition for life, you will never be free. Until you become nothing.

Freedom is nothing but an imaginary condition. So let us create your freedom. What other condition is better. Yeah! Now I’m flipping out here.

Now I kinda lost my thread…

So let’s talk about the weather. That always works when there’s nothing else to talk about. It has been mostly really good actually (dead end).

For this special last supper final, I got into my rough post processing mood. I have been quite neat to my photos lately, mostly. And I really like trying to replicate that analog film touch. As good as I can and want it to look like. Probably because I’m grown up with cameras in the analog era. Some kind of nostalgic issue.

I love the digital evolution. Definitely, but. As I have said before. Digital photos tend to feel a little bit too technical perfect sometimes. That disturbs my sense of life. Flaws make photos feel more perfect, emotionally. And that means more to me.

I have and will probably never be consistent in my style. Sometimes I’m into low contrast, sometimes hard, sometimes slightly faded and desaturated, sometimes the opposite, sometimes B/W and so on. I change, that’s it. I refuse to nail my style to create some kind of personal identity.

Well, that’s my style and identity. So I think I have nailed it, shit!

See you soon again. But probably not so often as it has been last month. Love you all, whoever you are.

Found a missing link today

Much better. Even if I really didn’t make that much photography as I thought. I fell upon an even better mood, actually.

The feeling of here and now. So I wasn’t thinking that much about making photos all the time. It made me feel more free and satisfied. I enjoyed life more than getting photos of it.

It’s easy to forget when your craving addiction for photography hits you.

Better for better photos, maybe not, but definitely more valuable utilization of your time, according to me. Better for your mind. More mindfulness. And in a crowded town full of action everywhere this mindset suits me better in the long term.

Don’t worry, be happy. You can’t be everywhere all the time anyway. You will miss things, but you will find something else probably worth far more.

In these days an extraordinary huge event that occurs every year is going on in Gothenburg – Gothia Cup. The largest and most international youth soccer tournament in the world is going on. Every year more than 1700 teams from 80 nations participate. It all began 1975 and keeps on growing every year.

The big recreational square of Heden in the middle of Gothenburg is one of the highlight spots of this event. Beyond that, practically every soccer ground in Gothenburg and neighboring cities are occupied during this event.

Unfortunately, I’m not a huge fan of soccer. So for me this is just a fun happening, but not more than that. But I actually enjoyed the atmosphere of being here, and where I spent most of my time this day.

When I finally left for a walk to other sceneries, before heading home, my mood was in perfect condition and I enjoyed every second. Then I left when I still felt as best.

I could have made a lot of more photography, but I wasn’t prior it at all. So I really didn’t get that many shots today. But I’m definitely satisfied good enough. Especially with the mood of the day.