Creativity is a drug

Thinking too much, again.
::..

Why am I making photos?

Why am I making anything?

It could be anything. Doesn’t matter what or why, as long as I want. If I don’t, I fall into a sleep deep inside myself.

There’s a hole inside me with a gravity so strong my head will implode and eat my soul if I don’t feed it.

I used to paint, draw and scribble, like a crazy maniac. I used to run like hell, work my body like a berserk. Whatever just anything that burns. And I used to do what I’m doing again.

A ladder of creations stretching through the void of time and space from where to where.

And I write my thoughts. Whatever the words are saying – keep on typing. You may find something about anything.

 

Follow the invisible rabbit.

Addicted to the unknown machinery behind the never-ending story. The ghost-hole inside me.

I don’t need answers. I don’t want answers. I want to be lost and keep on travel through my mind and the secrets of life and death and the dreams in between.

Where and for what reason I don’t know. Until I no longer understand who I am and forever lost in my own mind. Captured and conserved in gravity. Together with the invisible rabbit.

The point is not the end .

/made in the United Neurones of Insomnia

 

…until I drop dead-sleep

Then some coffee, then some more. Today the rain is pouring down and I will get me out and shoot it.

Advertisements

I used to be a painter

My room is loaded with artwork. Canvas and paper everywhere in all sizes. I’m actually out of storage space. Oil is my favourite when it comes to painting, but I like acrylics as well and what i began with. But paint is far from only medium I like to use. Crayons, oil pastels, ink, charcoal, anything.

Today I barely paint or draw at all. That’s a common lifecycle

My passion for drawing and painting have been like a bonfire that burn baby burn, fueled with loads of intensive passion. And suddenly I feel nothing, move on and try to set something else on fire.

Photography have had kind of same lifecycle throughout the years of my life. But never that abrupt in my burnouts. My lust to make photography have always been there by my side even when my passion have been low. It have never left me doing nothing.

I think the reason why photography never fails me is easy to explain. Painting for example, as I prefer and like mostly, is far more demanding in many ways. Painting is based on pure passion and deep intensive dedicated mindset. You travel deep inside yourself and disappear from the world. Paradoxically you are able to both get and give energy in this process. But just a slightly to much passion and it drains your motivation and leaves you exhausted.

That’s whats always happens to me. And I have still not figured out how to keep this in balance to keep going on.

It’s easy to suddenly become empty when you live inside your art. It’s like the canvas and papers sucks your blood out through the brushes and pencils. Intense love is dangerous.

Concealed in it Self

Dystopia

My latest time in this lifecycle was the most crazy intense I ever been involved in. For two years I made more artwork than in my whole life concluded. Not only more. More advanced and bigger than ever too. I’m not surprised that my passion one day would end all of a sudden, again. I really challenged my passion endurance this time.

Only weeks after the end of this era, I started to make plans to revive my photography.

Except the difference between the process and the making of art on a canvas or pieces of paper and photography, I really can’t see anything that differ a painted artwork from the art of photography. Both are a captured moment visualised inside your head. The only difference is that photography mainly occurs outside your head and painting more inside. Otherwise it’s just two different ways to create art.

ReSpecincid

What I love and like about photography compared to painting is that photography is far more easy and laid back in its nature. The making of photos gives you instant feedback and you can easily move in and out of your mind in the creative process. You can move around physically and mentally and change the scene whenever you want in a snap. Photography offer a much bigger freedom of action.

That’s probably why photography never have been all gone, over and out. Painting art is a far more time consuming process and need a lot more space and freedom around you. In photography life as it is around you is your freedom. And space is only a matter of where to store your files.

Photography is always at hand in a blink of an eye. The only difference is that you can’t make whatever you want. What you see is what you get. But at the same time that’s the exciting challenge that triggers your creativity how to use the reality to make the art of photography.

Hewho

Off course this is a matter of photographic expression of choice. Today post process manipulation is always a workaround to do almost limitless art creations. And I have made some art this way myself some years ago. Fun, but to much time consumed in front of the computer.

My choice is however to work as minimalistic and simple as possible in the making of photos. And with optical effects you can achieve incredible effects only by tweaking the camera settings and use the natural effects of light and darkness. In the post process – tweaking the contrast, vignette, local darkening or lightening etc. No more advanced than that is needed. I think that’s the most fun, creative and rewarding way to work with my photography.

When painting or drawing things aren’t that easy for me. I’m quite straight forward, but at the same time very complex in my approach. It’s not unusual that my paintings change and transforms into something completely different after a while.

I seldom sketch more then very loose and rough, because I have never been able to follow my sketches very well anyway. Mostly I don’t sketch at all, instead I usually make layers until I begin to find what I’m looking for. The cause is that I usually never see the whole picture of my original ideas of what I want to do. My paintings are usually based on very diffuse and vague fragments that comes alive while I paint, or draw.

Ceptuality

the Aeternal Deep of Lavendine

I usually don’t know what I really want, where to go or where the end is.

This is the core of my heart and soul in my painting strategy. Very complex and demanding. Still and for sure a very inspiring and exciting process full of explosive creativity. Unfortunately it easily becomes like a collapsing sun slowly turning into a black hole.

Fortunately I always use to find myself a wormhole to escape into and pops out in another world of creativity to express myself.

To create is therapy, your inner guide and psychologist that makes sense and understanding to life and yourself.

In and Out of My Mind

To see more of my artwork you easily access it through clicking on any image in this post. A click will take you to my flickr account and from there just search for my artwork albums. Unfortunately I haven’t uploaded all of my artwork yet. But almost.