Dogwalk

Sometimes, think… don’t wait for a special occasion to shoot something. Just shoot it. How stupid simple it ever may be. Actually, don’t think very much at all. Don’t care and see what happens. Just throw away the lens at something and click.

Don’t bother what camera you use. Use the one you have right here right now, which almost always is your smartphone. The soul of a photography is far more interesting, exciting and important than fabulous quality and fantastic views.

This is what I do, this is what I see a couple of times everyday – walking our dogs, and anytime in between. It’s so everyday common insignificant that I wanted to make some photos of it (ok, this particular moment occurred some weeks ago).

It’s easy to go blind and forget the beauty that actually live in those insignificant moments. Take care of them. They are more important than you may think in making life more interesting than you may think. Penetrate and go beyond what you take for granted.

This is my way to achieve more mindfulness in life. Even without making photos. But you need to remind yourself constantly about it to not forget it.

the Art of Seeing

Debriefing, free breathing the art of reflections, and the holy ghost…

There are physical reflections, and there are mental reflections.

When I make photography, I do it because I feel somewhat of an attraction to the scene I want to catch, at least trying to. Sometimes it’s a more subconscious response of instinct or a spontaneous idea, a vague intuitive feeling of something worth just shooting.

Back home when I post process my photos. I do it again.

But now my catch is concealed forever as it went. I can’t change the content in the scene. I can’t remake the action.

But what I can do is changing the mood. And this can change the scene radically in many different emotional directions. I’m seldom satisfied with just “cleaning up the photos” to technically look better.

Back home my emotional connections rarely are the same as when I made the shots. I see everything slightly differently, sometimes very different, sometimes I don’t find what I thought I saw, sometimes I discover things I didn’t saw. Time affects your mood and impressions.

I’m post processing my mind.

I like to cover my photos with a layer of my personal mood. I like to bend the appearance of the original reality. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

I like to blend the nature of both documenting the ordinary reality with the artistic freedom to strengthen the appearance in one or another direction.

I’m not a fan of creating photos with a consistent identity. Or, maybe I should say; I get bored very quickly in predictable squares.

My mind is a creative mess of discovery joy. And the right mood is very important in this process to keep my motivation happy. I have always been attracted to possible what if’s and can’t resist trying new ideas and different approaches.

For me, what I feel is far more important than what I see.

 

 

 

 

 

sometimes I wonder, Why!

Sometimes I wonder, Why!  ?

Then I think, Why!  ?

On my mind. Words moving around like foam on waves in the sea made of thoughts.

Thinking too much makes you feel too much. It’s easy to begin to disbelieve in yourself. The more you think about it, the less you see the point of anything at the end. Everything you touch dies.

A sense of context.

I often find myself wondering. Questioning the meaning of what I do. I try to ignore the purpose of my doubts. Demons, watch me do it anyway.

Since I never seem to get any useful answers anyway from those doubts I keep on doing what I need to do what I want. Even if the meaning of it all is hidden at the end of the universe. Out of reach in my ordinary lifetime.

I don’t need, I want.

I need to sleep, but I would prefer to do it when I want. I need to wake up…

I need to cope with the rest of the world to serve my possibilities to do what I want. But I can’t control it. Everybody wants. So control yourself.

Live together, die alone.

I keep on shooting, post processing, share them. On Insta, Tumblr, my blog. Write loads and post my shit on this blog. Not many cares, some likes and then passing by and disappears into the unknown shrubbery of the past.

Instant pleasure of creativity. I want more, but don’t know why. I just do it. Because it’s satisfying to create. That’s all I need. As long as I want.

And then? Who knows. That’s inspiring enough – the unknown life of the past in the present. Creating a story and the history of your life. Documenting the creation of a memory.

Catching moments of life as it occurred in your mind. Sometimes changing during the post process. Discovering new things, traveling back in time with a slightly different mindset. Changing the scene. The past suddenly grows into new depths and heights. Crossbreeds now and then.

In every photo every made, you not only caught what you saw. You also made an image of your own mind and mood. In both directions.

And words. There are so many things inside your thoughts. Use them, play with them, decipher them. Even if they seem to make no sense, or mean anything of significant importance. Just do it. Open the hatch in your pond.

Forward in any direction. Where are we now

Photography is art. Words are art. We make art of life. Life is an artwork. Art is life.

Don’t do what you love. Love what you do. And don’t doubt about that.

 

Why is the wrong ?

 

a different view

One last trip with the family to the end of days. Tomorrow working class hero life begins again.

This was a wonderful nice moody day. Cloudy but warm and almost windless. Lovely relaxing atmosphere, far, far away from the streets.

That was needed. I have almost forgotten how energizing it can be to flow my mind in the nature. Don’t ask me why, otherwise I should have known why and done it more before.

Blinded by the streets I suppose.

This is a place called “Hanhals holme” (Hanhals islet), located by the sea in the city of Kungsbacka. Just a couple of miles south away from Gothenburg.

Once upon a time, in the Middle Ages, a castle once stood here named Hunehals castle. Today, there’s not even ruins left to find, only traces and findings that reveal its physical history.

The “ruin” itself is not much to see. But knowing about it feels nice. It’s more the place and itself as it is that makes it a nice place to be. Especially all the sheep that you share space with when walking around here. You find them in small groups little everywhere.

It might not seem like that when looking back at my photography since this blog was born. But I actually love being in the mother natures green room, or fifty shades of naked dull, as it looks more like during the dark half of the year.  Not just as much as I used to. Occasionally still do, but almost never make any photos of it.

Nature photography actually used to dominate my photography once upon a time. Then I suddenly more or less got fed up totally of it. Probably because I got stuck in the search of serious perfection.

Thanks to iPhone, Instagram and later on, the curiosity of the myth of street photography, I found a newborn relationship between photography and my mind. I see and feel many things very differently now. So this might be a new beginning of my approach and perspectives towards my photographic relation to nature.

Sea and water usually always is something I’m drawn to make photos of from time to time. And like to just stare at. And clouds, I love clouds. I’m an addicted cloud gazer. Clouds make my mind flow free and probably the best practicing of mindfulness meditation I know.

But me making close ups of flowers… that’s extremely rare. And I enjoyed it with something that almost felt like passion at the moment. So this was a really unique happening that occurred today.

More missing links found today, it seems.

 

 

Last supper

… before my time out of control is forced back into control. This was it, the grand vacation of the year. Four weeks spent in freedom with When, Where, How, Who, What and Why, almost by myself.

Very simple, nothing big, but very nice in general. Nothing will ever be any better than you make it. So you better make it.

I’ve seen more of my nearby surroundings during this time than I have done for years together. Thanks to my camera, my cycle, my shoes, and of course some bus and tramp rides.

A tip worth trying if you feel stuck in life – buy a camera and start document life through the lens. Whatever, just shoot it.

This probably maybe last world tour trip of my vacation went on to quite a long ride in scrambled directions. At least 40km by wheels and another 10 by foot. But I apparently I enjoyed the travel more than making photos of it.

That’s a good sign. I have become a little bit too addicted to making photos from time to time, and some more in between. I even dream about photography at nights. I don’t think that’s a good sign.

But it felt scary when I got back home and started to wonder after some hours if I shouldn’t get out for a little ride again, just a short one. I didn’t.

Somehow I need to begin focusing on life without the need of making photography every minute. Otherwise, I will put me in risk of creating myself an imaginary jail. Stuck in a place that only makes you suffer. You can never run away from now without getting bruises in your heart and mind.
You need to take good care of now. Now is where you live.

When thinking about it. Freedom is nothing… and as soon as you need or want something, you are no longer free. And as nothing is an impossible condition for life, you will never be free. Until you become nothing.

Freedom is nothing but an imaginary condition. So let us create your freedom. What other condition is better. Yeah! Now I’m flipping out here.

Now I kinda lost my thread…

So let’s talk about the weather. That always works when there’s nothing else to talk about. It has been mostly really good actually (dead end).

For this special last supper final, I got into my rough post processing mood. I have been quite neat to my photos lately, mostly. And I really like trying to replicate that analog film touch. As good as I can and want it to look like. Probably because I’m grown up with cameras in the analog era. Some kind of nostalgic issue.

I love the digital evolution. Definitely, but. As I have said before. Digital photos tend to feel a little bit too technical perfect sometimes. That disturbs my sense of life. Flaws make photos feel more perfect, emotionally. And that means more to me.

I have and will probably never be consistent in my style. Sometimes I’m into low contrast, sometimes hard, sometimes slightly faded and desaturated, sometimes the opposite, sometimes B/W and so on. I change, that’s it. I refuse to nail my style to create some kind of personal identity.

Well, that’s my style and identity. So I think I have nailed it, shit!

See you soon again. But probably not so often as it has been last month. Love you all, whoever you are.

Shit happens

… and sometimes it’s spelled Pain.

Hello spinal disc my old friend, so you have come to hug me once again. I just need to reset my mood, so I can leave it behind and go on, at least mentally.

A split second out of focus at my training, doing my usual deadlifts, just a fingertip away from the ground in my last rep done. Not even heavy compared to what I usually lift.

A flashing snap ran through my right leg. Yes, wow and shit that felt. First I thought that a muscle was ripped. But then I realized how the sensation felt and behaved, that it probably was my sciatica that got squashed.

I have an old spinal disc herniation in my lower back since before. And now you think something like – Stupid bastard doing heavy barbell deadlifts, suit yourself. Maybe. But deadlifts have been the undisputed best training method and medicine against a bad back I have ever tried.

There’s only one catch – it can be bad if you fail bad. I happened to nail that fail in a blink of an eye. It’s a dance on the edge. But I don’t regret a second of my thousands of deadlifts. It was my head that caused this shit, not the barbell.

However. Almost a week and still feels like crap. I cant walk very far until it begins to hurt so annoying bad that I just have to stop and make funny moves. Standing is just as bad. And the mornings are ridiculous. It takes about two hours of crazy hurtful crippled funny walking before the leg comes back to more normal function.

Doctor? No idea to bother, not much that I already know what to do about it. Wait… and move your ass, and train, as much as possible. It usually calms down by itself, so you just need to be patient and have mentally pain endurance. But if nothing changes to the better after some weeks of waiting, visiting a doctor probably is a good choice how to continue the adventure.

So I wait and try to live as normal as possible. Even get out to make some photography. But long photo walks, forget it. That’s not possible. I have to move mostly by cycling and make only small walks in between. Cycling actually works excellent, just feel a little bit more tiredness in the bad leg, but it doesn’t make any pain.

But for sure, this circumstance have made me feel a bit low for some days now and left me with an annoying restless apathy in the corner.

I need to get out from my bad body and mind. So I did. Today my leg felt no better at all, but I made my head a little happier.

 

 

I’ll be back

If All the World’s a Stage

 

For moments I felt like a postcard tourist. In between like the introverted odd eremite.

A good combination. I like to move between the surface and the depths of my mind, quickly, whenever I feel for it. Never stay too long in either position of my mood.

You see more and feel more. Get perspectives and understand things better. Both about life that surrounds you, and yourself.

If all the world’s a stage. Identity is nothing but a costume:: Sense8 – episode 10, season 3.

 

Never ending story of life

Another day of reasons.

I’m going to fix my eyes with lenses. I really hate the feeling of glasses on my face. After four years with eye glasses, I’m done. I will never adopt the unnoticeable feeling of wearing them. Always less or more disturbing.

Poor eyesight can give you a migraine. But the uncomfortable feeling in your face is a worse trigger.

Nowadays I actually never use them unless I absolutely need to, like when reading and watching a film or so. And of course, when I’m at work. In the distance, I prefer to see the world in a free relaxed blur.

Before and after the visit to the optician. Later on, another trip to meet my wife after work for dinner. A good reason to hang the camera around my neck for a walk around my little hometown of less significance.

But that’s something you only have adopted to believe in because it has become a part of the invisible everyday life not worth your attention.

Just same old shit.

I have slowly become to like this same old everyday shit more and more. My camera has become my guru and hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy. I look at my everyday surroundings as a theater. Mostly with a slightly surrealistic twist.

And you, and I, are a part of this never ending story. The story of life.

I don’t only make photos any longer. I also make my life.