I need a monochrome Spa

More or less, I’m going to get back to my b/w settings without the choice to do anything about it.

At least for a while, even if I really don’t know why.

Oh yes, your little bastard, you know, you just don’t want to admit it – that you have a deep-rooted monochrome crush and feel that you have betrayed an old friend.

I’m born and raised in monochrome. It’s probably some kind of identity crisis.

In the beginning, I thought that color photography only was something I would do sporadically. Then I became to really like it and all of a sudden colors was dominating my photography.

I left my b/w settings and started to shoot everything in color. I also started to see and think differently. Monochrome went my second opinion.

So what’s the problem! So I like colors and if, Colours are easily made into nice monochromes in the post process. Well, that’s a part of the problem.

This is simply a weird feeling I have. And more about how I do than what I do, and what I think is better for my confused little mind.

I am suffering from very annoying alternative possibility disorders. That’s the problem. More alternatives – more problems. I don’t need more alternatives than necessary to deal with. I want less (is more. Yeah!).

When needed, it can be a very useful condition, but mostly it’s only disturbing (the good thing is – creative infinity, nothing can ever go wrong, only different).

Remember that “even if I really don’t know why” in the beginning of this text? I don’t, apparently. But I have noticed that now. I just didn’t know what I didn’t know, yet. And still not really sure… shit!

So you see, this alternative thinking even bleeds through my writings. So many, too many ways to say something. This puzzle inside my mind often makes me feel like an exploding star. And then I begin to feel a little hungry…

Ok, Stop!

So I will go back to basic and use my camera as it was a roll of film in it. Either b/w or color, not two in one.

And my precious little Fuji X100T makes great monochromes, straight from the camera (those here are not made that way, and some are mobile shots). And my monochrome mindset works so much more effective both when shooting and during the post-processing of the “negatives”.

Nothing wrong with colors, not at all. But when it comes to shooting in color on a more regular basis, I need to figure out what the hell I want to achieve more effectively. The confusion of exciting alternatives that lives inside the world of colors, or the sudden change of mood for b/w, or maybe not, or maybe… makes me bipolar.

I love it, and I just hate it at the same time.

If you don’t choose, everything will remain possible.

Maybe this is my path – to never really figure out what I want, meant to be a forever restless part of my mind.

I will keep on doing color photography anyway, however, whenever I feel for it. But not on a regular basis. And not as my standard setting.

Shooting with my iPhone will be an exception and stay my two in one whenever-wherever-however-camera.

But right now I need a relaxing monochrome spa. Focusing on the purity of shapes and contrasts without the interference of colors disturbing my little disordered head. So I will focus a lot on black and whites and the shades of grey in-between.

Less is more. And limitation is a creativity-engine making you more focused and inventive, and less disturbed by possible maybes. I need to clean up what I want.

We’ll see about that. I never trust myself. I often change quicker than I think.

Fuji X100T

 

Take Care, Peace and Love / Smike;)

 

 

 

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Creativity is a drug

Thinking too much, again.
::..

Why am I making photos?

Why am I making anything?

It could be anything. Doesn’t matter what or why, as long as I want. If I don’t, I fall into a sleep deep inside myself.

There’s a hole inside me with a gravity so strong my head will implode and eat my soul if I don’t feed it.

I used to paint, draw and scribble, like a crazy maniac. I used to run like hell, work my body like a berserk. Whatever just anything that burns. And I used to do what I’m doing again.

A ladder of creations stretching through the void of time and space from where to where.

And I write my thoughts. Whatever the words are saying – keep on typing. You may find something about anything.

 

Follow the invisible rabbit.

Addicted to the unknown machinery behind the never-ending story. The ghost-hole inside me.

I don’t need answers. I don’t want answers. I want to be lost and keep on travel through my mind and the secrets of life and death and the dreams in between.

Where and for what reason I don’t know. Until I no longer understand who I am and forever lost in my own mind. Captured and conserved in gravity. Together with the invisible rabbit.

The point is not the end .

/made in the United Neurones of Insomnia

 

…until I drop dead-sleep

Then some coffee, then some more. Today the rain is pouring down and I will get me out and shoot it.

Floating around in the background

While Gothenburg was preparing for an expected rumble. I took my camera and joined my family for a short shopping visit on the other side of the city.

Later on, when the rumble was on. I took my camera on a short ride to my own little half asleep city of Mölndal instead. Maybe kind of little half asleep myself. I just wanted to get out and make some more shots.

Many photographers of the day were probably already prepared in their minds of what to do this day. I had my thoughts also. But then I thought – Do I need this negative chaos to make interesting photos? And do I need it myself? – No!

Making photos of bitter and frustrated neo-nazis trying to accomplish their legal demonstration rights, angry opponents and police forces trying to keep them from confrontation and confusion in general. For sure a lot of excitement to shoot. But honestly, not my kind of action of choice.

Of course, I could choose to join the happy forces, powered by over 20.000 people around the city that took place in other areas instead. Maybe I should, to show and share my opinion. But my head was actually not in shape for either. I prefer to perform my beliefs and statements in the small at small stages anyway.

Today I was in my flaneur mood. And have been so more or less for a while. And I know myself very well by now. Ignoring my condition and capacity have never been a lucky shot of choice.

I have some annoying issues of being slightly oversensitive, taking in too much information, sounds and visions fading into an exhausting messy blur of chaos. And from time to time it grows into hypersensitivity making me absorb even more impressions than I need.

So this was just a perfect choice of egoism for the day. Slowly floating around in the background of the more sleepy slow corners of the world instead. Personally, I prefer to call it self-awareness.

So how did the demonstration and rumble in the city of Gothenburg went? Surprisingly well actually. The Nazi demonstration failed totally. They actually never came anywhere before their given time was over and forced away. Ironically they made their own situation, ending up in an embarrassing anti-climax humiliation.

There were some minor violence and incidents but the police made an impressive performance controlling the situation. And the few of the more aggressive people in the anti-nazi opposition never got the space to act, nicely stopped by the more smart people in the surrounding crowds of opposition before things went out of control. The rage and the anger never got the fuel to start the engine. And the fear of expected riots never happened.

The citizens of Gothenburg showed their power of peace, love, diversity, and inclusion.

 

 

 

Street Photography is

Street photography is a curious genre derived from the candid and documentary style/genres and has adopted a whole lot of different styles and genres within itself through time. This makes the street photography genre very contradictory and confusing, and a myth.

The candid soul within the art of street photography is wild at heart and the untameable child of anarchy, making it a very unpredictable element, if you invite it. It can even take you far away from the streets and still breath street photography in its context.

Or not…

Don’t ask: What is street photography?!
Ask: What is street photography not!?

I’m in love with this genre. Probably just because of its wide open and creative heart of wilderness where any subject or object are welcome to participate. Fits my mind perfectly.

What happened to become a trilogy of words is now at its th3rd and last, and longest, step. Even if there is a connection they are readable in any order, or alone. Actually, I have been writing versions of same, same but different posts before. Life on a blog often tends to become a recurrent repetition in a different light. You will probably feel some deja-vu when reading this. Yes, I repeat a lot of my thoughts here, I know.

What I try to achieve is as usual – therapy for an infinite mind trying to understand what I try to think.

All shots in this post are made with an iPhone7.

In many ways, street photography has been kind of a project in my life with a camera. This was just something that suddenly popped up in my head one day and gave me the inspiration to explore.

When I started this adventure I sort of stepped back to basic and went kind of a cautious wannabe beginner trying to avoid failure and nail greatness. This also included my mindset when I was doing the post-processing. From being quite careless I went far too cautious.

In combination with a completely new environment shooting strangers in the streets, this was a mind-blowing experience. I was extremely stiff and lost and very often felt scared, bad and stuck in a mental block holding me back.

I have had my doubts many times if this was my thing. And I have felt very unsure of what I really want and like. But my curiosity was stronger and now I see the streets as one of my natural playgrounds. And my editing software is my playstation.

Within this more stabilized relationship, I slowly began to feel more determined and sure of what I wanted to achieve. Finding my way back to my more playful and careless creativity as I once upon a time used to make photos with my mobile. More fun and less serious. Never avoid failure and challenge everything you think is interesting and good enough. Fuck the rules!

I do a lot of wild and crazy snapshot photography when I’m out doing the streets or occasionally make random single shots from wherever whenever. Just because of the fun and excitement and unexpected and potential surprises. Create your moments.

But everything doesn’t have to be about snapshot intuition. It’s just a great key to unlock things. Being slowly spontaneous and experimental is just as good and fun and something I also practicing, a lot.

And I Can’t wait to tweak my “negatives” of reality back home. Even if I’m quite cautious in my editing experiments compared to how I used to play around with my photos once upon a time, I still like to tweak my shots quite a lot. But in general, I prefer some kind of balance not making it too obvious fancy excessive. Not lying too obvious. I want to stay in touch with some kind of trustworthy reality at the same time. But it happens that I tweak the light and darkness a little beyond from time to time.

On the whole, every photo we make is a little lie.

Making photography of life from a slightly different and unexpected view is like practicing magic and the art of bending and expanding the ordinary. Just a touch of less is more, as simple as possible. Most likely you will find your own magic when and where you least expect it, hidden in the insignificant.

Nothing has to exclude the other in favor from doing both at the edge of the opposite at the same time. Common mainstream easy digestive and strange oddities side by side will expand your mind.

Love, Soul, and Curios Creativity to you all / Smike;)

The “trilogy” is

Street Photography is a Roadmovie

Street Photography is a Rollercoaster

Street Photography is (this one)

Street Photography is a Rollercoaster

Welcome back, my friend!

In the beginning of my street photographic adventure I often felt a little disappointed -Crapshit! inside my head. Failing to nail my imagination of what I saw in my mind. Or just missed. Maybe never saw and lost motivation.

And I felt like a God when I succeeded to make a great hole in one. Or just found that inspiring bubble of flow.

Street photography is a rollercoaster and something you have to deal with.

It’s actually a bad habit expecting greatness every time you shoot – it can easily become a killer whale, tearing your motivation apart. Never listen to your inner killer whale, it will make you blind and may even bore you to death.

I still feel like a God when I succeed and I still make a lot of mistakes and odd shit in between. And I still struggle with scrambled motivation from time to time. But this is a part of the challenge and the excitement in street photography. Especially when doing candid street photography snapshots.

The best way to avoid and cure negative mood is to become a crazy Devil aiming for odd shit. Make loads of unexpected stupid shots of things and folks of any kind whenever you feel blocked and bored – just shoot it. Don’t be afraid of the little Devil in you. I can assure you things will happen inside you. And you might be very surprised by the result.

What you shall be afraid of is the Ghost of Borderline.

And then – what is shit, failure, and a bad photography? And what do you think makes it so?

Are you sure?

In my opinion, this is personal – you are the creator, you choose the path of your own opinion and mindset.

I really like those strange and awkward moments I sometimes succeed to catch with totally unexpected results. And I really like when things aren’t perfectly in place in my photos. Missing heads, half bodies, out of focus, motion blur – off-road in general. Everything’s there to challenge the perfect and open up closed windows in our heads.

Today I’m more true to myself and confident in what I like, what I want and how to do it. Well, this actually began quite soon after I started doing street photography and realized that I missed something.

The more I shoot the more I understand my camera. The more I shoot the more I understand myself. The more I shoot the more I learn about photography. The more I shoot the more intuitive I become. The more I shoot the more relaxed I become. The more I shoot the more I see.

Follow the invisible rabbit  / Smike;)

Well, this was kind of part tw2 of my unexpected trilogy writing. The t3rd is on its way. Except connected in context it will contain only very random mobile shots as companion.

Street Photography is a Roadmovie

When I was writing this post I began as usual without a clue of what. Just throw out something and see what happens. I could just share my photos and say as little as possible to fill out the space in between. That was my thought when I started this blog. Well – Ops! I did it again.

It ended up in a huge wilderness of word pooping. I’m not surprised, so me. And how me grabbing thoughts from everywhere ending up lost in an endless mess. It took me a while to sort things up and at the end, I had to divide it. It became too big and wild. Suddenly I had made a trilogy. More of this, my thoughts and the shots from the day will continue in upcoming posts.

Street photography is a road movie. You have a base camp and an idea, but what’s next depends more on what comes in mind than what you expected five minutes earlier. When measured in hours things become even more unexpected and haywire.

Not always, not for everyone, but for me, this is bull’s eye and my ride through the unmapped landscape of my mind. I never really know what to expect and I seldom prepare myself very much more than being prepared for anything.

Actually, I think the unexpected is what you want to happen when shooting in the streets, both inside and outside your mind. This is the candid soul of street photography.

I just shoot and make some circles to see what happens next and then make a slingshot away to the next magnetic field, somewhere out there. And my mood can change quickly between different levels. It’s like my mood is doing the same thing simultaneously inside my head.

And this is in many ways a mirror of who I am as a person in general. Not always the best shot and sometimes very frustrating, but exciting and fun when you learn how to deal with it.

So what possible suits better than do what you are and explore the possibilities from there and just do it.

Embrace yourself and the unexpected / Smike;)

 

the Gatekeeper of Antimatter

 

In one of those worlds where everything matter
But nothing but white noise when the door opens
Unseen tales stay unseen behind the scene

Living in the same room as everyone else
Naked behind hidden environment
Unseen by correction

The wall of perception separating the worlds from colliding
Protecting visions from the underworld to slip through
Staring at the dots in fear of the depths
Numb in the mainstream

We live in layers separated by antimatter
Only accessible through small wormholes in spacetime
As most do not see, dismiss or dare to touch

The sensitive drowns
Creating subways in the underworld
Like whales

Living together in different worlds
In different ways
At the same place

As nothing is as it seems to be

 

 

 

We the Rain and the Horses

I love this fearless little shitty piece of camera.

Well not that love maybe, but for sure a kind of limitless fun and creative machine to work with. Because you don’t have to care very much about how you handle it and where you take it.

A little bit annoying delay in the shutter moment, but that’s probably something you can make somewhat better in the settings (haven’t familiarized with its settings that much yet). Or, something you just have to deal with – and just take it and use it for what it is.

This late afternoon was really wet, from above as below. This is not a place for my Fuji X100T, it would probably get a stroke. But with my little Casio Exilim (first edition, some years old now) I don’t have to worry a shit – it just keeps on doing its job as it were my shoes.

The really fun is that it really triggers the inspiration of unboxed experimental creativity. A fearless camera makes you fearless, and also careless, you don’t think that very much about what but just shooting whatever, however. It’s just a crazy fun photo-machine.

I think owning a cheap, small, simple and rough camera like this one is a great complement. Not only because of its size and the obvious protection it has, making it great for conditions like this. Those characteristics are actually contagious on your mindset and approach to photography. It changes the rules and the imaginary frames of your mind in a box. You really stop thinking and caring very much – and that’s an awesome relief to get in touch with.

And, if I would happen to kill it I don’t have to fear agony and screaming Why! Why! My precious!

All its flaws doesn’t matter at all, actually, it makes you even more crazy careless towards your imaginary photographer image. It makes you childish. And the delay and lack of control nailing the scene exactly as you think you want it is actually a part of the fun and interesting thing. Working with a camera like this on the edge of control (bad light and weather for example) will deliver a lot of unexpected surprises that you can use to turn into creative advantages that a more expensive high-end advanced camera probably maybe wouldn’t invite you to explore. And Yeah, we’re talking about the whole process here, from when to where and your whole photographic attitude.

So, get out there and get yourself a shitty piece of fun-machine to just play around with. I promise you, you gonna love it.

::

By the way. Not much of regular street photography lately. That’s just how it has become and no other reason but what happens to suits me best for the moment. Sometimes it’s just good to stay away, changing the scene and let things grow in the background. Sooner or later I’m there again. I don’t like to get stuck in predictable and expected paths.

 

 

 

REaDy pOrtal

On the Other side

the Other way

REaDy pOrtal

hOme I gO

a wOrmhOle is a bit like a black hOle Only different

time is awesOme : it makes us eXist

If you think that I have become a bit too much of strange lately. Don’t worry. This is normal. The only difference is how close it is below the visual surface. This is what my mind is made of. So nothing is actually strange, just more noticeable.

In the other dimension, I was just on my way home after an ordinary late evening at work. I like to flow through all the layers.

I have a need for art in my life, and I want to make it. Sometimes more. So I just do it, because it wants me to.

Fragments from the big bang
Insignificant details from the beginning of time
The unknown searching
For searchers of the unknown
Collecting Connecting
Trying to understand one and the other
Not knowing – nobody knows
8 Or always has but never understood and never will
The mysteries grow in the seeds of knowledge
The knowledge grow in the seeds of mysteries

O1ne < t

::..

 

 

 

the end always begin somewhere