There are portals inside your head

Today, tomorrow and yesterday. Now have been everywhere.

The weather has been really crazy lately. Snowing, raining, snowing, raining, freezing, raining, snowing, freezing, snowing, raining…. and so on.

Maybe not so very different from how the winters usually behave here, but in a very fast forward mode.

The scene changes quickly. Just like where I am and what I shoot. And I have been heavy shit tired lately. And all this annoying headache behind every corner. Thank you, my friend, Sumatriptan for being there helping me to fight for my life.

Time moves so fast, and I’m so slow. And when I run, time slows me down even faster. I feel like a motion blur between two worlds. A ghost.

Reclaim the speed of life!

 

Thank you God’s, that I’m so fu**** curious to experience what happens next no matter how obviously life seems to be carved in stone. You never know.

Life is full of everything behind the imaginary walls of the ordinary everyday. Open up, be prepared, be curious. It’s not even a wall, it’s just a thin layer of projections. Inside your mind.

There are portals inside your head, hidden in unexpected combinations that unlock paths to unknown destinations in your mind. Change the scene.

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Underpants…

And now some random moments on the go shot with my iPhone.

I never hesitate using my phone whenever I get struck by a sudden desire.

That’s the nice thing with mobile photography. More or less you don’t think photography at all. Unaware and suddenly you react at something in your surrounding, pick up your phone and shoot. Either something you see, or an unstoppable eruption of lust from the inside, or a strange combination of both. For me, it often happens on the threshold between aware and unaware, while waiting for something, or when doing what I use to do as usual, deep inside my thoughts, far away, and then suddenly come back to reality.

I have tried to achieve this behavior in the relationships with my “real camera”. Having it hanging around for no reason but if, and nothing more than that. Trying not to think photography.

But it doesn’t work, not for me. For some reason you are too aware of your camera in the bag or wherever you have it, ready to shoot if something of interest occurs. Subconsciously looking for things to shoot instead of letting things happen without the distraction of photographic thoughts.

With only my iPhone in my pocket I usually never think photography in any serious terms. I never look or wait for things to happen (inside my head or outside). It just happens – click, click… and then it’s over and off.

I would like to have this mindset even with my Fuji at hand. Learn how to not bother and think about photography all the time as soon my Fuji is there.

I think you can practice this skill. You probably need to have the camera with you more often. So often that it becomes just as natural as wearing underpants and no longer aware of it.

Suddenly and happily finding out that you have when you need to know. Nice!

At the same time. It’s a relief only having your mobile at hand. Forcing you to be and see things with a more laidback mindset. More spontaneous relaxing stupid fun. I think a “real camera” will always wake up the more serious photographer inside you. So it’s probably a perfect combination having either one or the other as your tool at hand and keep your double nature moods separated.

Yeah! I will probably keep things as they are. Mobile photography is fun, stupid easy and creatively rewarding.

Keep on making your day interesting and don’t bother if it isn’t / Smike;)

 

 

I need a monochrome Spa

More or less, I’m going to get back to my b/w settings without the choice to do anything about it.

At least for a while, even if I really don’t know why.

Oh yes, your little bastard, you know, you just don’t want to admit it – that you have a deep-rooted monochrome crush and feel that you have betrayed an old friend.

I’m born and raised in monochrome. It’s probably some kind of identity crisis.

In the beginning, I thought that color photography only was something I would do sporadically. Then I became to really like it and all of a sudden colors was dominating my photography.

I left my b/w settings and started to shoot everything in color. I also started to see and think differently. Monochrome went my second opinion.

So what’s the problem! So I like colors and if, Colours are easily made into nice monochromes in the post process. Well, that’s a part of the problem.

This is simply a weird feeling I have. And more about how I do than what I do, and what I think is better for my confused little mind.

I am suffering from very annoying alternative possibility disorders. That’s the problem. More alternatives – more problems. I don’t need more alternatives than necessary to deal with. I want less (is more. Yeah!).

When needed, it can be a very useful condition, but mostly it’s only disturbing (the good thing is – creative infinity, nothing can ever go wrong, only different).

Remember that “even if I really don’t know why” in the beginning of this text? I don’t, apparently. But I have noticed that now. I just didn’t know what I didn’t know, yet. And still not really sure… shit!

So you see, this alternative thinking even bleeds through my writings. So many, too many ways to say something. This puzzle inside my mind often makes me feel like an exploding star. And then I begin to feel a little hungry…

Ok, Stop!

So I will go back to basic and use my camera as it was a roll of film in it. Either b/w or color, not two in one.

And my precious little Fuji X100T makes great monochromes, straight from the camera (those here are not made that way, and some are mobile shots). And my monochrome mindset works so much more effective both when shooting and during the post-processing of the “negatives”.

Nothing wrong with colors, not at all. But when it comes to shooting in color on a more regular basis, I need to figure out what the hell I want to achieve more effectively. The confusion of exciting alternatives that lives inside the world of colors, or the sudden change of mood for b/w, or maybe not, or maybe… makes me bipolar.

I love it, and I just hate it at the same time.

If you don’t choose, everything will remain possible.

Maybe this is my path – to never really figure out what I want, meant to be a forever restless part of my mind.

I will keep on doing color photography anyway, however, whenever I feel for it. But not on a regular basis. And not as my standard setting.

Shooting with my iPhone will be an exception and stay my two in one whenever-wherever-however-camera.

But right now I need a relaxing monochrome spa. Focusing on the purity of shapes and contrasts without the interference of colors disturbing my little disordered head. So I will focus a lot on black and whites and the shades of grey in-between.

Less is more. And limitation is a creativity-engine making you more focused and inventive, and less disturbed by possible maybes. I need to clean up what I want.

We’ll see about that. I never trust myself. I often change quicker than I think.

Fuji X100T

 

Take Care, Peace and Love / Smike;)

 

 

 

We the Rain and the Horses

I love this fearless little shitty piece of camera.

Well not that love maybe, but for sure a kind of limitless fun and creative machine to work with. Because you don’t have to care very much about how you handle it and where you take it.

A little bit annoying delay in the shutter moment, but that’s probably something you can make somewhat better in the settings (haven’t familiarized with its settings that much yet). Or, something you just have to deal with – and just take it and use it for what it is.

This late afternoon was really wet, from above as below. This is not a place for my Fuji X100T, it would probably get a stroke. But with my little Casio Exilim (first edition, some years old now) I don’t have to worry a shit – it just keeps on doing its job as it were my shoes.

The really fun is that it really triggers the inspiration of unboxed experimental creativity. A fearless camera makes you fearless, and also careless, you don’t think that very much about what but just shooting whatever, however. It’s just a crazy fun photo-machine.

I think owning a cheap, small, simple and rough camera like this one is a great complement. Not only because of its size and the obvious protection it has, making it great for conditions like this. Those characteristics are actually contagious on your mindset and approach to photography. It changes the rules and the imaginary frames of your mind in a box. You really stop thinking and caring very much – and that’s an awesome relief to get in touch with.

And, if I would happen to kill it I don’t have to fear agony and screaming Why! Why! My precious!

All its flaws doesn’t matter at all, actually, it makes you even more crazy careless towards your imaginary photographer image. It makes you childish. And the delay and lack of control nailing the scene exactly as you think you want it is actually a part of the fun and interesting thing. Working with a camera like this on the edge of control (bad light and weather for example) will deliver a lot of unexpected surprises that you can use to turn into creative advantages that a more expensive high-end advanced camera probably maybe wouldn’t invite you to explore. And Yeah, we’re talking about the whole process here, from when to where and your whole photographic attitude.

So, get out there and get yourself a shitty piece of fun-machine to just play around with. I promise you, you gonna love it.

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By the way. Not much of regular street photography lately. That’s just how it has become and no other reason but what happens to suits me best for the moment. Sometimes it’s just good to stay away, changing the scene and let things grow in the background. Sooner or later I’m there again. I don’t like to get stuck in predictable and expected paths.

 

 

 

Dogwalk

Sometimes, think… don’t wait for a special occasion to shoot something. Just shoot it. How stupid simple it ever may be. Actually, don’t think very much at all. Don’t care and see what happens. Just throw away the lens at something and click.

Don’t bother what camera you use. Use the one you have right here right now, which almost always is your smartphone. The soul of a photography is far more interesting, exciting and important than fabulous quality and fantastic views.

This is what I do, this is what I see a couple of times everyday – walking our dogs, and anytime in between. It’s so everyday common insignificant that I wanted to make some photos of it (ok, this particular moment occurred some weeks ago).

It’s easy to go blind and forget the beauty that actually live in those insignificant moments. Take care of them. They are more important than you may think in making life more interesting than you may think. Penetrate and go beyond what you take for granted.

This is my way to achieve more mindfulness in life. Even without making photos. But you need to remind yourself constantly about it to not forget it.

a different view

One last trip with the family to the end of days. Tomorrow working class hero life begins again.

This was a wonderful nice moody day. Cloudy but warm and almost windless. Lovely relaxing atmosphere, far, far away from the streets.

That was needed. I have almost forgotten how energizing it can be to flow my mind in the nature. Don’t ask me why, otherwise I should have known why and done it more before.

Blinded by the streets I suppose.

This is a place called “Hanhals holme” (Hanhals islet), located by the sea in the city of Kungsbacka. Just a couple of miles south away from Gothenburg.

Once upon a time, in the Middle Ages, a castle once stood here named Hunehals castle. Today, there’s not even ruins left to find, only traces and findings that reveal its physical history.

The “ruin” itself is not much to see. But knowing about it feels nice. It’s more the place and itself as it is that makes it a nice place to be. Especially all the sheep that you share space with when walking around here. You find them in small groups little everywhere.

It might not seem like that when looking back at my photography since this blog was born. But I actually love being in the mother natures green room, or fifty shades of naked dull, as it looks more like during the dark half of the year.  Not just as much as I used to. Occasionally still do, but almost never make any photos of it.

Nature photography actually used to dominate my photography once upon a time. Then I suddenly more or less got fed up totally of it. Probably because I got stuck in the search of serious perfection.

Thanks to iPhone, Instagram and later on, the curiosity of the myth of street photography, I found a newborn relationship between photography and my mind. I see and feel many things very differently now. So this might be a new beginning of my approach and perspectives towards my photographic relation to nature.

Sea and water usually always is something I’m drawn to make photos of from time to time. And like to just stare at. And clouds, I love clouds. I’m an addicted cloud gazer. Clouds make my mind flow free and probably the best practicing of mindfulness meditation I know.

But me making close ups of flowers… that’s extremely rare. And I enjoyed it with something that almost felt like passion at the moment. So this was a really unique happening that occurred today.

More missing links found today, it seems.

 

 

The camera I didn’t knew I had

This is actually very strange indeed. I found a Casio Exilim EX-G1, hidden in a drawer. Apparently I bought this little thing some years ago, and then forgot about it. I think it was at the time when I was heavily dedicated into outdoor training.

A lot of trail running and using the nature as my gym. Today I’m too comfortable and like the lazy comfort of being in a gym instead.

However, I often enjoyed documenting my life even then. And for this I wanted something rough. At this time my photos seldom got any further than stuck on a hard drive, somewhere.

I think I remember that I also used it during some family vacations and weekend trips.

But I don’t think I made that much photos with it. The mobile functionality evolved and I found the ease of using the mobile for photography instead (it seems that the rough need wasn’t that needed).

It can also be so that I began to grow an aversion against computers during this time and made as much as possible with my phone instead and finally forgot it. I have no other clues of why I finally put it away and forgot it.

I better search through some of my old external hard drives one day, to see if I can find what I have made with this camera. I’m curious. But not today and not tomorrow.

Right now I’m more curious about just using it and see what it’s capable of and the feel of it. So this day I was carrying it around all day and used it sporadically during a quite lazy day. And this is what I got.

My choice for this post, however. Was post process them all into rough, moody black and whites. Just because I got that feeling.

I really like its design. Very easy to handle, light and ridiculous compact, but surprisingly easy to use even with my big hands. This camera easily disappears into any pocket almost unnoticeable. Or just let it hang around your wrist without any big distraction.

In many ways, a perfect casual everyday every time shooter. Fast focus and no significant shutter lag to bother about. Ok, maybe not an action sports camera.

What I find especially nice about the camera is that it’s water resistant. Meaning I can get out in any horrible shit conditions without caring a shit in return. Even take a dip in the sea. Yeah! It would be fun discovering underwater footage. Hope the seals still are fresh and resistant.

It definitely has potential of being a fun favorite as a complement to my iPhone and Fuji X100T. So far I like it. But I will probably only use it when I want to get out and shoot in bad weather. I mean, two is more than enough for my regular shooting.

 

Ás and new friend Glóinn

Sometimes I follow my wife and daughter to the stable. To help and make some shots. This is our two Icelandic horses Ás and Glóinn. The latter is not trained for riding yet and my daughter’s long term project making him a competition subject.

Ás is a horse of some kind of wonder in its own way capable managing almost anything with smooth calm. Nicer horse and willing to collaborate is probably hard to find.  But since my daughter also wants to evolve herself and a horse made for competition, which Ás is not – he’s too calm, she bought another one, to raise from scratch.

A real challenge, but I have no doubts. She’s a wonder just as Ás with a heart and soul just where needed when it comes to making connections with the mind of a horse.

 

 

Ás and Embla

and others

No long words here. Just some horses, my daughter, wife on a bench and thats it. And some words to say something.

Ás is the name of our icelandic horse. It’s pronounced “aus” meaning God-like as in Æsir. He truly is.

Embla is the name of the first woman in norse mythology and means little elm. She’s our first daughter, so that’s true.

No, we don’t have another daughter, she’s the one and only.The other one is a son, but he’s name is not Ask (the first man in same mythology).

But just like our daughter he also have an old name connected to the norse mythology – Terje, a merge of Thor and geir meaning Thor’s spear (more common name in Norway, maybe Iceland too, I’m not sure).

He’s not in picture here because he study miles away in a town called Lund. He’s brain is from another planet. Or maybe the future.

 

The enemy of good

… is someone of yourself who think too much about you.

It happens to me all the time.

I really love my Fuji X100T. But honestly – this camera is much better than I need it to be. At the same time, ok… It’s nice to have a camera that is capable of more than you need. It gives you more space to play with possibilities.

The problem is not owning a camera that is better and more expensive than you need. The problem is your mindset. It’s way too easy to get caught in some kind of imaginary pro mode. Affected by an enforced feeling to level up the whole process to make things as perfect as possible.

The better the circumstances are, the more and better we want and the more distracted by flaws we get.

What is perfect? What makes one thing more perfect than another? And for whom?

Nowadays digital cameras generally produce image quality that is so close to perfect that it needs to be imperfect to feel alive.

The more you stare the more you dissect and get distracted by technical details. Obsessed with making Frankensteins monsters and forget the importance of soul. It looks well made technically, but the soul is dissected and disconnected.

It’s awful simple to get stuck in the hunt for technical perfection and almost feel guilty of a crime if you don’t make use of the maximum possible advantage that your hard and software is capable of to perform, and catch this perfection. Afraid of failure.

The technical maximum high quality preservation of the original information that the camera or the editing tool you are using are capable of. Is not the same as the quality within the photography itself.

But I have to admit. I often find myself being way to careful with my photos during the post process. I would actually like to challenge my thoughts about perfectly good enough more often than I do and screw things up a little more.

Alien drive

I think one major problem here is your imaginary thoughts of what other people think about your photography when you make them. – You have a superior camera and high end photo editor software, and this is what you get?

And that we compare ourselves with others too much.

I think we all to often deal with too much worries and doubts about what we are doing.

This is a ghost. Don’t try to please others – find out what pleases you to pleas others. If other people happens to like what you’re doing, then you have found a nice roadmap how to both express and attract. But don’t expect it.

Never give up. Do what you feel is you and continue to deliver, explore and develop your way.

This is a self exploring therapy journey we need to go through and accept if we want to do what we like and like what we do. A travel we do until we die. In one in another way.

A nice workaround to deal with this anxiety is to be more rough when shooting and make more experimental photography. Not purposely shitty photos, but with the same mindset just to make you less serious. Lower your guard and let the child in you enter the scene.

Don’t get stuck in feelings of lack of nice conditions. Make it a reason to conquer the conditions. Try to create fascination out of the ordinary, almost boring.

Don’t get stuck in boring results out of your camera. Make it a reason to find something. Your soul, not according to what you think other people think. The soul is everywhere but looks and feels different for everyone.

Many of those photos will probably give you a lot more fun while post precessing them than the more regular and better shots. This is a nice way to explore possibilities and develop personality in your photography. With photos like this you will be less careful and willing to experiment more without distraction of any level of technical quality. This is pure mood mode. This will crossbreed your attitude towards your photography. And make you more laid back.

Finding the beauty and the drama in the seemingly daily grey and boring around the corner is a satisfying challenge to aim at. To create something out of barely nothing where you are with what you have.

One of the best cameras to use for assignments like this is probably your smartphone (the majority of the photos in this post is made with an iPhone7 and post processed with Snapseed). For some reason we lower our guard when shooting with our smartphones, just snap and don’t think too much more than just catching the moment.

If you ever made photos as a kid, try to imagine and revive to be there again. Otherwise, just try to imagine and revive the uncomplicated conditions needed to make fun.

After I bought my Fuji X100T I rarely used my iPhone as camera any longer. Thats sad. So I decided to make use of it more often again. Much just because it’s effect on my mindset. It’s just so ridiculous easy to just shoot it. And you don’t care so much.

You have probably heard of the mantra cliche that the best camera is the one you have with you. That’s true. Any camera is best, the one you choose to almost always have at hand, not which brand or model.

When I bought my Fuji camera I decided to start bring it with me as often as possible just to make it an automatic behaviour. But soon I found that this was wrong choice. I was thinking too much photography for the sake of making photography.

It isn’t the need of your best camera at hand that is important. It is the most simple and easy mindset that triggers and make you shoot whenever whatever and develop your intuitive photographic behaviour.

If you want to explore and develop you intuitive photographic behaviour. I think you really need those moments in the making of photography when you care less and make the process almost unnoticeable simple. Just like breathing.

I’m quite sure that using your smartphone as camera more often makes you a more personal and better photographer. And not being so loyal to hi-tech quality regardless of what you use.