Last supper

… before my time out of control is forced back into control. This was it, the grand vacation of the year. Four weeks spent in freedom with When, Where, How, Who, What and Why, almost by myself.

Very simple, nothing big, but very nice in general. Nothing will ever be any better than you make it. So you better make it.

I’ve seen more of my nearby surroundings during this time than I have done for years together. Thanks to my camera, my cycle, my shoes, and of course some bus and tramp rides.

A tip worth trying if you feel stuck in life – buy a camera and start document life through the lens. Whatever, just shoot it.

This probably maybe last world tour trip of my vacation went on to quite a long ride in scrambled directions. At least 40km by wheels and another 10 by foot. But I apparently I enjoyed the travel more than making photos of it.

That’s a good sign. I have become a little bit too addicted to making photos from time to time, and some more in between. I even dream about photography at nights. I don’t think that’s a good sign.

But it felt scary when I got back home and started to wonder after some hours if I shouldn’t get out for a little ride again, just a short one. I didn’t.

Somehow I need to begin focusing on life without the need of making photography every minute. Otherwise, I will put me in risk of creating myself an imaginary jail. Stuck in a place that only makes you suffer. You can never run away from now without getting bruises in your heart and mind.
You need to take good care of now. Now is where you live.

When thinking about it. Freedom is nothing… and as soon as you need or want something, you are no longer free. And as nothing is an impossible condition for life, you will never be free. Until you become nothing.

Freedom is nothing but an imaginary condition. So let us create your freedom. What other condition is better. Yeah! Now I’m flipping out here.

Now I kinda lost my thread…

So let’s talk about the weather. That always works when there’s nothing else to talk about. It has been mostly really good actually (dead end).

For this special last supper final, I got into my rough post processing mood. I have been quite neat to my photos lately, mostly. And I really like trying to replicate that analog film touch. As good as I can and want it to look like. Probably because I’m grown up with cameras in the analog era. Some kind of nostalgic issue.

I love the digital evolution. Definitely, but. As I have said before. Digital photos tend to feel a little bit too technical perfect sometimes. That disturbs my sense of life. Flaws make photos feel more perfect, emotionally. And that means more to me.

I have and will probably never be consistent in my style. Sometimes I’m into low contrast, sometimes hard, sometimes slightly faded and desaturated, sometimes the opposite, sometimes B/W and so on. I change, that’s it. I refuse to nail my style to create some kind of personal identity.

Well, that’s my style and identity. So I think I have nailed it, shit!

See you soon again. But probably not so often as it has been last month. Love you all, whoever you are.

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