Shit happens

… and sometimes it’s spelled Pain.

Hello spinal disc my old friend, so you have come to hug me once again. I just need to reset my mood, so I can leave it behind and go on, at least mentally.

A split second out of focus at my training, doing my usual deadlifts, just a fingertip away from the ground in my last rep done. Not even heavy compared to what I usually lift.

A flashing snap ran through my right leg. Yes, wow and shit that felt. First I thought that a muscle was ripped. But then I realized how the sensation felt and behaved, that it probably was my sciatica that got squashed.

I have an old spinal disc herniation in my lower back since before. And now you think something like – Stupid bastard doing heavy barbell deadlifts, suit yourself. Maybe. But deadlifts have been the undisputed best training method and medicine against a bad back I have ever tried.

There’s only one catch – it can be bad if you fail bad. I happened to nail that fail in a blink of an eye. It’s a dance on the edge. But I don’t regret a second of my thousands of deadlifts. It was my head that caused this shit, not the barbell.

However. Almost a week and still feels like crap. I cant walk very far until it begins to hurt so annoying bad that I just have to stop and make funny moves. Standing is just as bad. And the mornings are ridiculous. It takes about two hours of crazy hurtful crippled funny walking before the leg comes back to more normal function.

Doctor? No idea to bother, not much that I already know what to do about it. Wait… and move your ass, and train, as much as possible. It usually calms down by itself, so you just need to be patient and have mentally pain endurance. But if nothing changes to the better after some weeks of waiting, visiting a doctor probably is a good choice how to continue the adventure.

So I wait and try to live as normal as possible. Even get out to make some photography. But long photo walks, forget it. That’s not possible. I have to move mostly by cycling and make only small walks in between. Cycling actually works excellent, just feel a little bit more tiredness in the bad leg, but it doesn’t make any pain.

But for sure, this circumstance have made me feel a bit low for some days now and left me with an annoying restless apathy in the corner.

I need to get out from my bad body and mind. So I did. Today my leg felt no better at all, but I made my head a little happier.



I’ll be back


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